Simonmoon stared at the screen. It remained blank, despite his hoping otherwise. ‘Some Worlds-related content is needed, and soon, damnit!’, he told himself. Ever since selling a secret majority stake of the Stimhack editorial control, and part of his soul, to the Trilluminati in exchange for membership some time back, what promised to be a life of luxury and opened doors has instead turned into a burden of expectations, control, and lies. To make matters worse, viewership at Stimhack was down, much to the delight of eric_c over at Fetal. Something needed to be done. Perhaps utilizing that the Botnik predictive text app will help, he muses. Loading it up, and dumping the text from a ‘State of the Meta’ Stimhack forums thread into it, he finds the following:
The right way to play, bruh, and access a presumptive card is miles off.
Worlds will not be strong decks that can win.
Gamers should count ice, and dodge hyperbole.
The illuminati rush glasshouse, unless cards will not be excited.
The answer to dependent ctm wont be better with spags.
Simonmoon’s eyes glaze over at the gibberish that was ejected from the app. Normally, he would appreciate the irony of a dumb AI throwing the Trilluminati back into his face, but he was already most of the way through a bottle of Wild Turkey, and was not in the mood. That last line caught his eye. Simonmoon always had a soft spot in his cold, dark heart for CTM, and the name ‘spags’ triggered a foggy memory of a freelancer who occasionally contributed. The problem was that spags had a price on his head, ever since the Code Gate affair that sent the best of runners to ground. Being short on time and options, he told his aggressive secretary program to contact every vapium den and cyber-brothel in the seedier parts of New Angeles for spags…
Worlds 2017 is almost upon us, and someone needs to get the party started right (outside of kicking off Worlds with King of Servers, of course). Welcome to the third annual Worldshype article. As always, there will be predictions, insight, but mostly hot garbage. Let’s get right into it.
THE U.K. WILL NOT WIN WORLDS 2017
ANR Worlds is a great experience. The long-storied downside of travelling to Minnesota, USA in November is a known factor, and the largest negative against the event. If that is the worst thing about it, that is completely acceptable, as we spend most of our time indoors while at Worlds anyway. Being the wonderful time that it is, that brings with it high expectations and much excitement. Those emotions and feelings led to the creations of these hype articles. For the first two, I predicted that someone from the United Kingdom would win, with some semi-embarrassing specificity on the exact winner last year, Dave ‘cerberus’ Hoyland. 2015 did not see a British winner, but saw a great uptick on both attendance and performance from the U.K. kids, so I felt somewhat justified in my selection. I was also off on Dave winning, but he was close, as always, and the Grand Finals was two residents of England.
(on an aside, Dave thought I cursed him last year, but I believe he secretly loved the attention)
Not only did the U.K. dominate the finals in 2016, but they had 6 members in the top 16. Why would I not select them to crush all that oppose them again? One, it would be boring